Cross-country trip

As I write, I am in the Phoenix airport, having spent the last 2 days in Santa Barbara. This evening I will be in Seattle and finally head home on Wednesday. Interviews. I was invited out to Santa Barbara and, employing a bit chutzpah, offered to fly myself to Seattle before knowing whether they wanted me to go out.

I remember when pilots used to announce what we were flying over, but apparently that's not done anymore. I really wish they did that because I wanted to know what rivers I saw undulating below me and which mountains had thrust themselves up out of what desert. I'm pretty sure I saw the Mississippi. At first I thought it was too narrow, but when I compared it to roads, knew it was pretty broad. Especially when I was 'way west, I was very interested to see how different the mountains are from the ones in New England. And the vegetation, or lack of it. Today, leaving Santa Barbara, we flew south over the ocean and turned inland probably around Los Angeles. The desert was impressive. I lived in southern New Mexico and have been to Israel. Israel had been the most barren land I had ever seen until today. The sand leading to the mountains gave the impression of fog, something not solid.

Other than palm trees, Santa Barbara had a lot of eucalyptus trees. They look as though they are always bare of bark. The most surprising things I saw in SB were pelicans and seals. The seals were less than 75 ft from shore in the inner part of a harbor. I have seen them in New England, but this time there were 3 or 4, and they played. A young man was wading out to get closer to them. I smiled when I first realized what I was seeing, then felt a pang of sadness. A friend had told me about seeing seals practically next to her house and thinking of her reminded me of her partner's very recent death. Twenty years of doing my part to try to help researchers defeat cancer had not helped.

serenity

I have started running again after almost 25 years off. Three hour commutes and later, young children accompanied by single parenthood, made it hard for a long time. My brother indirectly inspired me to train for a race and even though he won't be able to compete, the bug has most definitely bitten me. A few weeks of regular running have paid off - when I was playing soccer the other day, I recovered from sprints faster than I would have a few months ago. It was a student-alumnae game at my prep school and I realized I am old enough to be a grandmother to some of the students.

The day before the game I decided to go hiking instead of running. It was a beautiful late summer day. I had been to Pawtuckaway once before with friends ages ago. The difficult decision was whether to try a somewhat strenuous hike or something easier that went around a marsh. I am fascinated by swamps, wetlands, and marshes - just think of all the life teeming in there - so I chose that route. The strongest memory for me is the scent of dry pine needles. After a summer of warm and sometimes hot weather, needles that fell before are thoroughly dry now and a little more heat makes them release their perfume. So many times as a kid I walked through the woods on our farm, sometimes to cut firewood and sometimes as an escape. The aroma brought me tranquility and peace.

Although my relationship with my father was difficult, there are some really good things I got from it. Nature was important to him, and he wanted us to enjoy it as much as he did. Sometimes I think he was born in the wrong century, that he would have been more at ease as a pioneer. He taught me about walking quietly through the woods, like an Indian, and, even now, if I make noise when I step on twigs, I admonish myself. Like his appreciation for languages, I have unwittingly taken his appreciation for nature perhaps than he did. He felt that it was important to know other languages; I love languages. My connection with nature is more fluid and open, less rigid. I am part of nature, or at least I try to be. When the deer simply watch me in curiosity and don't run away, I am joyful. I am successful.

plus ca change, plus ca meme

It's funny how sometimes just waiting a day or two can change things. The other day it felt as though several job opportunities had fallen through, and they had. But all is not lost. A couple more have appeared and now there are 2 that look promising and one is still a possibility. Oh, and another one is getting lined up. It's a little frustrating that the most definite possibilities are still a month away from any decision, but after all this time, perhaps a month isn't so bad.

I've just had to deal with not being able to practice my profession, but when I have a chance to talk about it, I realize how it's still fresh to me, even after 20 years. Mostly except for administrative hassles, my last job was ideal. I was still connected to medicine and I was paid to do something I love - dig for information. I also learned that I really enjoy teaching. There was a lot of satisfaction in helping people learn how to find what they needed. And their appreciation was great. To quote Tallulah Bankhead, "To hell with criticism, praise is good enough for me!"