serenity

I have started running again after almost 25 years off. Three hour commutes and later, young children accompanied by single parenthood, made it hard for a long time. My brother indirectly inspired me to train for a race and even though he won't be able to compete, the bug has most definitely bitten me. A few weeks of regular running have paid off - when I was playing soccer the other day, I recovered from sprints faster than I would have a few months ago. It was a student-alumnae game at my prep school and I realized I am old enough to be a grandmother to some of the students.

The day before the game I decided to go hiking instead of running. It was a beautiful late summer day. I had been to Pawtuckaway once before with friends ages ago. The difficult decision was whether to try a somewhat strenuous hike or something easier that went around a marsh. I am fascinated by swamps, wetlands, and marshes - just think of all the life teeming in there - so I chose that route. The strongest memory for me is the scent of dry pine needles. After a summer of warm and sometimes hot weather, needles that fell before are thoroughly dry now and a little more heat makes them release their perfume. So many times as a kid I walked through the woods on our farm, sometimes to cut firewood and sometimes as an escape. The aroma brought me tranquility and peace.

Although my relationship with my father was difficult, there are some really good things I got from it. Nature was important to him, and he wanted us to enjoy it as much as he did. Sometimes I think he was born in the wrong century, that he would have been more at ease as a pioneer. He taught me about walking quietly through the woods, like an Indian, and, even now, if I make noise when I step on twigs, I admonish myself. Like his appreciation for languages, I have unwittingly taken his appreciation for nature perhaps than he did. He felt that it was important to know other languages; I love languages. My connection with nature is more fluid and open, less rigid. I am part of nature, or at least I try to be. When the deer simply watch me in curiosity and don't run away, I am joyful. I am successful.